Beating the Odds, Only to Lose

Hi All,
This post was supposed to be titled "Beating the Odds", because two days ago, Cue did exactly that. You see, when Cue was diagnosed with kidney failure, the vet told me three out of four cats with kidney disease as advanced as Cue's could possibly live another three or four months with special diet and fluid therapy. Only a minority of them could expect to live longer. Well, two days ago Cue hit the four month milestone of living with kidney disease under our management. And I'm happy to say not only was he living, he was thriving. He was up to nine pounds, which is what he weighed at his peak. He was back to doing all things he loved most - playing, cuddling, fighting with Blanca, begging for food. He was basically back to his old self, other than we had yet to convince him to use the litter box downstairs again.
But instead, on a fateful Friday night, my sweet kitty went out to play and never returned. It was an unseasonably warm evening, so while I found it a little strange when he didn't come when I called, I assumed he was enjoying himself outside. Jim was gone hunting. But my dad was visiting and said he would let him in before he went to bed if he came to the door. I awoke at 3 a.m. and found still no Cue at the door. It was still incredibly warm, so I dismissed it until the morning. When I went to the door again at 7 am and still no Cue, I knew something was wrong. When everybody was up, we went searching. We walked up and down our street and searched all the bushes around the house. I drove around the lake, but still no Cue. I knew time was of the essence to get him back home because he couldn't survive without his special diet and fluid therapy. But, my dad left only to return a little while later indicating he found my cat and that he was very sorry. He had been hit on the main road just past our street. My dad was kind enough to scoop up Cue's beat up little body and offer to bury him.
And I am left second guessing myself. There was no way of knowing what the night would bring. He had gone outside to play countless times in his life of 8.5 years and always returned home safely. And when I say countless, I mean several times a day when it was warm enough. Yet, should I have never let him go? To do so would have kept him alive, but I feel it also would have caged his spirit. Notice even in the picture above, he is at the slider waiting to be let out.
I guess it is another life lesson - life is unpredictable. And so many things about Cue were unexpected and unpredictable - like his chronic respiratory infection and his kidney disease, but also his over the top affection and incredible will to live through his illnesses. Plain and simple, he was the sweetest kitty and brought much joy to my life as a furry companion.
So, on a day when I should be celebrating the MSU football victory over U of M by a score of 34 - 17, it's rather bittersweet, and definitely more bitter than sweet. When I go to bed tonight, Cue won't be there to jump up and nuzzle my face before settling in next to me. It sucks when you beat the odds, only to ultimately lose when you least expect it.
Cue, you will never be forgotten! We love you!